The topic of death and dying is one filled with complexity, not only because of the emotional weight that this subject possesses, but also due to the limitations of what we know about it.
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People have pondered upon, and even tried to answer death-related questions like if a dying person knows they are about to die, or what people feel during a near-death experience, or if there is an afterlife.
But an aspect of death that people have difficult coming to terms with, is the finality of it, and what fears, thoughts or wishes one might have in one's final hours. As reported by Insider, Joon Park, a hospital chaplain has shared some of that, drawing on his experiences of counselling thousands of dying patients and their families.
Many people are filled with regrets
Joon Park has worked as a hospital chaplain at Tampa General Hospital for 8 years, and provides grief counselling to patients and their families. He shares his experiences on his Instagram account @jspark3000, calling himself a 'grief catcher.'
He states that regret about 'untapped possibility' is a very common emotion people feel at the end of their lives. He explains,
People at the end cannot help but imagine a 'phantom life' of untapped possibility.
We are naturally so good at imagination, invention, and dreaming, that at times it can curve inward upon us and we imagine millions of other phantom parallel lives unlived.
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Worry about their loved ones
Another emotion that is foremost on the mind of the dying, is worrying about the future of the loved one they are going to leave behind.
Insider quotes the chaplain's view on 'empathic anticipatory grief,' which is when people empathetically sense the grief their death is going to be causing those closest to them. He states,
..the dying person vicariously experiences how their own death will be experienced by their remaining loved ones. It's almost a guilt, a burden, an injury via empathy.
As stated to CNN, Joon explains that these fears surface in even those patients who are at peace with dying. He says,
Will my loved ones be OK without me? Who will look after mom? Who will take my dad to the doctor? How will my son and daughter get along without me? Even my patients who are most at peace with their dying are still anxious about how their own death will affect their family.
Read more:
⋙ Woman who had two near-death experiences reveals how she felt
Sources used:
CNN: 'This hospital chaplain has counseled thousands of dying patients. Here’s what he’s learned'
Insider: 'A hospital chaplain reveals the two things people worry about on their deathbeds'
