Having a child is a wonderful thing, but it doesn’t always work out how people imagine it will. Sometimes there are complications with the pregnancy or birth, but there can also be issues before that, at the conception stage. Many couples who are struggling to get pregnant through the traditional means look to use a sperm bank or adopt. However, other times they use less common methods - and some of these might make you feel a bit icky.
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We already wrote about the doctor who impregnated his patients with his own sperm without their consent. This led to a woman finding out that her highschool boyfriend - with whom she had been intimate - was actually her half-brother. Now, we have a story that involves a worried mum who finally wants to tell her daughter the truth about her ‘father’.
An ‘anxious’ mother seeks advice
This story has come to light through the mother herself seeking advice. The woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, wrote to The Atlantic’s ‘Dear Therapist’ column to air her concerns. She explained that has been lying to her 30-year-old daughter for her whole life.
She explained that her daughter’s biological father is not who she thinks it is - it’s actually the man she believes to be her step-brother.
Our daughter is 30 now. How do we tell her that her 'father' is her grandfather, her 'brother' is her father, her 'sister' is her aunt, and her 'nephew' is her half-brother?
How did this happen?
The woman explained that when she married her husband, the pair were very happy but desperately wanted a child together. Her husband already had adult children from another relationship, but he could no longer provide valid sperm because of a vasectomy. In case you don’t know, men who have had this procedure can still ejaculate, but their semen doesn’t contain sperm because the tubes that carry them to the urethra have been cut and sealed.
The woman and her husband didn’t want to use a sperm bank, so they considered their options, and decided to use someone else’s sperm. The husband asked his son if he would provide the goods, and amazingly ‘he agreed to help’. The woman said:
This is also hard on my husband, because he wants our daughter to know that he will always and forever be her father.
However, therapist Lori Gottlieb explained that it may be tricky, but it is better to tell the truth:
The person she calls her brother is her biological father, and second, the people she calls her parents have deceived her for 30 years. Trying to protect a child from whatever danger they believe the truth would pose, they're likely making that child feel less safe than they would if they knew the truth.
This is a pretty crazy story, but at least the woman’s daughter will know she was a truly wanted baby. The same unfortunately cannot be said for this couple’s baby, who was put up for adoption at just three months old because she was ‘not a good fit’.
Read more:
⋙ This father suspected his child wasn't really his, what he discovered was way worse
⋙ Dad recalls hair-raising moment he saw on baby monitor: 'I saw an arm reaching into the cot'
Sources used:
Mirror: 'My daughter's brother is actually her father - how do I tell her after 30 years?'
