It's a question that many people in relationships ask themselves: is my partner a narcissistic pervert? According to a psychologist, there are several techniques you can use to get your answer. For example, certain gestures that your partner may have can reveal whether or not they are indeed a narcissistic pervert. There are also five signs to be aware of.
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But beware, narcissism doesn't only affect your partner, it can also show in your parents...
These nine phrases should set off alarm bells
To give you all the tools you need to understand narcissism, psychologist Cortney S. Warren, PhD in psychology and author of the book Letting Your Ex Go, has unveiled the nine most common phrases used by narcissistic perverts. Cosmopolitan has tackled this subject and their findings might interest you.
These 9 phrases may seem harmless, but are in fact devious ways of gaining psychological domination over another person. They are:
- you're crazy
- you're overreacting
- it was just a joke
- you made me say that if you love me, you have to let me do what I want
- I'm telling you this because I love you
- it's your fault
- everyone agrees with me
- you're difficult
- the real problem is ...
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Simple gaslighting
If your significant other says these things repeatedly, there is a high chance that they are a narcissistic pervert. To be even more precise, people who use these phrases are using a technique called gaslighting.
Merriam-Webster defines it as:
psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator
Once you recognise that you are being gaslit, we encourage you to stand your ground and respond. If someone calls you 'crazy', a good answer would be: 'Thank you for not questioning my ability to see the situation correctly.'
When you partner, friend or parent throw a 'I'm telling you this because I love you' your way, a fitting answer would sound like: 'I'm glad you love me, but I don't agree with the way you're talking to me.'
And when you receive a 'it's your fault', you can make a come back with this sentence: 'I'm ready to take responsibility for my actions, but I wouldn't for yours.'
You now have some serious tools at your disposal to tackle anybody who would choose to gaslight you!
This article has been translated from Oh!MyMag France
Read more:
⋙ Mental health: Women more likely to be gaslit into thinking they have a mental illness
⋙ Are you a victim of gaslighting? Here's how to tell
Source:
Cosmopolitan: Une psychologue dévoile les neuf phrases les plus utilisées par les pervers narcissiques
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