The spectrum of sexuality reaches depths and heights that society is only now beginning to slowly comprehend. One kind of sexual orientation that is not widely spoken about and is often misunderstood is autosexuality.
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What is autosexuality?
In reality, autosexuality isn’t as narcissistic as it sounds. It just means that an individual gets more sexually aroused by themselves, than by other people. Sexuality educator, Lindsay Fram tells Health.com:
Someone who is autosexual is primarily, or even exclusively, turned on by their own body and does not experience the same degree or intensity of sexual arousal from others as they do from their own self-image.
Being autosexual doesn’t mean that you cannot or do not enjoy sexual experiences with other people. In fact, like other forms of sexuality, autosexuality comes with its own range.
Some people might exclusively accept autosexuality as their own sexual identity, since they only get pleased by self-stimulation. Sex therapist, Jess O’Reiley, explains that others may have autosexual tendencies that then feed into different sexual experiences. For example, some people may enjoy thinking about themselves while doing the deed with other people.
Autosexuality ≠ narcissism
The most common misconception is that those who are autosexual are narcissistic and selfish lovers. Experts say that that is far from the truth and carves a damaging narrative about people who are autosexual or have these tendencies. Fram adds:
People may jump to the conclusion that someone who is autosexual won’t be a generous lover and might not spend the time to find out whether or not that is true.
Being dismissed out of hand because of one part of your identity feels terrible.
If you are in a relationship with a partner who is autosexual, make sure that you're having an open conversation addressing both of your needs. And remember, just because they're autosexual doesn't mean that they are not attracted to you or do not want a loving relationship with you.
