Adolescence is a time of great change and self-development. Many studies and surveys reveal that towards the end of this transitional period is when people tend to have their first sexual experience. Because it's a first, it's completely normal to have questions about what's going to happen? Or to wonder what to do exactly.
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Here we'll give you some advice and information that will help you decide if you are truly ready to have sex for the first time.
Having sex for the first time doesn't have to be a big deal
According toYouGov, data suggests that the average age at which people have sex for the first time is 17. But this should be treated with caution. It's definitely not a rule to live by. Having sex for the first time should happen when you are ready. That can be before 17 or after. But always when you want it to happen.
French sexologist Alène Houngbedji points out that having sex for the first time:
certainly (is) an important event, but it doesn't determine the rest of your sex life!
It's important to bear this in mind so that you don't put too much pressure on yourself and on this moment.
Read more:What is frigidity? The medical disorder that affects your sex drive
Is having sex for the first time painful?
One of the most common misconceptions is that when you have sex for the first time, you bleed and it hurts.
However, according to studies, 1 in 3 women do not experience any pain at all during their first intercourse. Nor is bleeding systematically present at first intercourse.
Sexologist Catherine Blanc explains:
The reality is that when a woman is aroused, perfectly lubricated, with a partner in front of her who isn't all over the place, at no time is there any question of pain or potential blood loss.
We should specify that this quote mostly applies for heterosexual sex. If you are two people with vaginas, having sex for the first time may not even involve penetration. Same if you are two people with penises.
Also, if you do want penetration during your first time, regardless of your sexual orientation, lube is your friend. And take it slow!
What happens when you have sex for the first time?
For people with vaginas that want to be penetrated during sex, the hymen can break. The hymen is a membrane that serves no anatomical purpose. It is there to close the opening of the vagina, and it usually breaks when it is penetrated for the first time.
But this is not always the case. In fact, your hymen can break through other circumstances. It has been known to break during sport (gymnastics or horse riding are the most common), but also if you use tampons. It can even happen during masturbation.
Your hymen breaking does not indicate that you've had sex for the first time!
You should also be aware that every vagina is different, and the size and shape of the hymen varies.
You define your first time
Moreover, sex is what you want it to be. If for you, having oral sex is the way you engage in intercourse for the first time then it is.
You can have already had your first time without having been penetrated by a penis. Some people who don't have sex with people with penises have great sex lives without ever experiencing penetration.
What we want you to take away from this is that you are in charge. What you consider to be your first time is what matters and it sure doesn't have to fit any preconceived idea.
Just make sure that you are 100% certain, that it is consensual and that you use protection. And we're not just talking about condoms here, mouth guards and other forms of protection exist and should be used!
This article has been adapted from OMMFR
Read more:Everything you need to know about demisexuality
Sources:
YouGov: At what age did Britons lose their virginity?
BBC:The sex myth that's centuries old
