When it comes to fulfilling your deepest darkest desires good communication is key. This not only means expressing your wishes to your partner but making sure you're using the right terminology to explain what you'd like to do so that everyone is on the same page.
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Sex, especially if it's kinky, is not the place for ambiguity. Otherwise, you might accidentally cross your partner's boundaries or engage in a non-consensual activity. So with that in mind, let's start with the basics: what's the difference between a kink and a fetish?
Kink
Kink is an umbrella term used for any sexual activity that strays from the 'norm'. The word comes stems from the notion that if your sexuality differs from the norm, or the straight and narrow, then it is bent or 'kinky'.
Kinks include:
- BDSM
- Roleplay
- Dirty talking
- Spanking
Overall, kink is much more a spicy mindset than referring to any particular sexual activity or behaviour. People can dip in and out of kink at their leisure, and what is defined as kinky shifts with the times.
Fetish
A fetish, on the other hand, is a sexual fixation or obsession. This obsession, either with an object, or a sexual act can be so strong that the person fixated will not be able to find sexual gratification without it. For example, if you like the occasional spanking: that's a kink you have. If you can't reach orgasm without being spanked, that's a fetish.
Or, to sum up, kinks are used to increase sexual pleasure and expand your sexual repertoire, whereas fetishes are integral to sexual pleasure.
Sources used:
Get Maude: 'defining the lines between kink and fetish.'
Mind Body Green: 'Kink Versus Fetish: What's The Difference Between The Two?'