Love is a beautiful thing that most people long to experience. There are people who fall in love with the idea of love and would go to desperate lengths to find love. This desperation may be borne from fear of being alone or being rejected.
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This phenomenon is known as love addiction or pathological love. Although it is not scientifically recognized as an addiction, it shares common characteristics with substance addition. Here are some signs that you may be addicted to love.
You can’t stop thinking about the other person
Ever watched the TV show ‘You’? That is an extreme portrayal of love addition. But subtle obsessions like having the constant urge to call, text or even monitor their activities on social media, are signs of love addiction. You might notice that your behaviour is irrational, but no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to get them out of your mind.
Dr. Becky Whetstone is a therapist specializing in love addiction, and she said:
A lot of these abusive men are love addicts with mental disorders. They stalk, they chase down, they threaten. They can be very dangerous.
Your love interest is your only happy place
Love addiction often stems from codependency - when someone isn’t able to be self-sufficient in a relationship. Love addicts tend to tie their self-esteem, happiness, purpose in life or any positive feelings to their love interest. They base their good feelings on the fact that they are in a relationship with the person.
You are scared they’ll leave you
If you are addicted to love, you live in a state of anxiety that your partner will one day leave you. Because of the obsession you have for this person, you are not completely trusting of their love and commitment to you. According to Whetstone:
They are going to seem very insecure and anxious and needy
It’s a trend in your previous relationships
If you are unaware of your love addiction, you will not take steps to fix it, so you take it with you into every relationship. All the above signs and more are patterns that you can identify with all your previous love interests. Whetstone added:
Becoming aware of the pattern is going to be the first step to stop the pattern. You're just going to move on and get addicted to another person.
Read more:
⋙ Nomophobia: You could have this addiction without knowing it
⋙ What is love bombing and how to tell if you're being love bombed
