No matter if your partner has a vulva or a penis, the thought and act of oral sex might cause some anxiety. It is, after all, an act that requires the highest levels of intimacy. So we've answered the questions you're too afraid to ask, to make going down as smooth as possible!
Discover our latest podcast
How should I smell down there?
No one's genitals should smell like anything other than, well, genitals! Although there are plenty of products (like douches) on the market that are trying to capitalise on (mostly women's) fear.
All medical advice points in the same direction: that these products often do more harm than good, by upsetting your genital's pH balance and delicate microclimate. To clean your genitals, all that is required is warm water with an optional mild, un-perfumed, pH balanced soap.
Everyone will have their own distinct smell, this should leave vulva owners with a slight acidic scent (due to the low pH of vaginal fluid), and penis owners with a mild, neutral smell.
If you're really anxious, why not ask your partner to shower with you beforehand to make sure everyone is fresh before the foreplay?
What happens if my mouth cramps up or I gag?
If this occurs, don't be alarmed; it's totally natural, especially if oral sex is something you're not used to doing. Just take a second to un-tense or stretch your jaw and breath deeply until you feel more comfortable. If you find that the cramping or gagging continues, try to relieve some of the stress on your mouth by stimulating your partner with your hands at the same time.
Which is the most sensitive part?
An excellent question. Oral sex is all about your partner's pleasure, so how can you make sure that you're hitting the right spot? Well, anatomically, the most sensitive part of the penis is usually the frenulum, (found on the underside of the penis, just behind the head), and the most sensitive part of the vulva is the clitoris. However, everybody is slightly different so is best practice to ask your partner what they want as they may have their own preferences for receiving oral sex.
What happens if you fart/queef?
Encountering the need to fart during sex of any kind is normal as the anal sphincter relaxes during sex. This doesn't mean that farting during sex is ideal, so it is advised to avoid eating anything that will increase bloating (like dairy or pulses).
Queefing, when the vagina creates a vacuum and sucks in air, is also a common phenomenon during oral. Because it sounds like a fart, it too can make the moment awkward, but as long as you and your partner have a sense of humour, just laugh off either event and move on to more pleasurable things!
Sources used:
Everyday Health: '14 embarrassing sex questions answered'
Pop XO: 'Questions About Oral Sex You Should Know The Answers To!'
Medium: '5 Health-Related Oral Sex Questions Everybody Should Know The Answers To'
Read more:
⋙ Doctors prescribe 4x weekly sex for this common kidney problem
⋙ Anal sex: Women at high risk of infections, new study shows
⋙ Condom panties: Undies that protect against STI during oral sex given go-ahead
