While cunnilingus is still not considered an important part of intercourse, it seems that, for some people, fellatio doesn't fall into the same category. Indeed, the two don't have the same history and all the clichés and preconceived ideas attached to them.
Discover our latest podcast
Some people having sex with people with penises remember how, in the middle of an intense make-out session, their partner's hand ended up pushing theirhead down, as if to show them the way... Not very subtle or considerate... And really not what you'd want as part of an intimate moment.
If you're someone who doesn't particularly enjoy giving fellatio, don't worry, you're not alone and we're here to help.
Porn has ruined the image of fellatio
Being repulsed by oral sex isn't abnormal - in fact, we don't really talk about 'norms' when it comes to sex - but maybe it's not harmless either. Unfortunately, one of the first things young people use as a form of sexual education is porn. Even more unfortunately, these films aren't the most realistic and, in it, fellatio is often practiced in a degrading, even violent way.
However, we must be very clear: what happens in porn isn't real life. In real life and in a consensual moment of intimacy, fellatio is above all a generous act, even a form of sharing.Oral sex is a caress offered to your partner to give them pleasure. Because yes, your mouth, your lips, your tongue, they give you that power.
So really, if you think about it long and hard (pun intended), isn't the one who's giving oral sex the one with all the power?
It's important to remember that, performing oral sex when you feel like it doesn't mean disrespecting yourself. On the contrary, if you really want to do it, make sure your partner is respectful by communicating with them, and you can go ahead, with dignity!
Read more:
⋙ Here are 5 ideas to try out during foreplay to spice up your sex life
⋙ Why doesn't my partner want to cuddle after sex?
Fellatio doesn't really work for you
It's also possible that you're not a fan of this practice, because you prefer to go straight to penetration, in which case again, nothing's wrong. Whatever floats your boat!
If, however, it's the act of putting a penis in your mouth that disgusts you, don't force yourself. Above all, you should know that there are other things you can do to arouse your partner to get things started. Passionate kissing, intimate caressing, cunnilingus... There are so many ways to have sex!
How do you tell your partner?
The key to a fulfilling sex life is (drum roll) communication. No matter if you're engaging in a one-night stand, or having sex with the love of your life, it's important to know who you're dealing with before embarking on any form or sexual activity. Trust us, talking actually maximizes yourchances of having a good time.
But how do I tell my partner that I don't want to go down on them? The keyword here is kindness. The aim is not to offend the other person. So don't hesitate to explain why you don't like it. But don't force yourself to negotiate if you don't feel up to it. It's important to put your refusal into words, to avoid frustration on both sides.
Please note: if you do perform fellatio, using a condom will help you avoid the transmission of STIs. And getting regular STI tests is also great!
This article has been translated from Oh!MyMag France
Read more:
⋙ Oral sex: Here's how genitals should smell and more
⋙ Oral sex: 6 tips to make this act pleasurable for both parties
Sources:
La Question Cul: Je n'ai pas envie de faire de fellation, est-ce que c'est normal ?
