Would you feel uncomfortable having your partner look over a conversation—with your permission, of course— you had with a close friend?
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Does that thought make you so uncomfortable that you delete such conversations immediately?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you might want to reconsider that friendship.
What is emotional cheating?
As the name suggests, emotional cheating generally involves nonsexual intimacy with someone other than your partner.
It could be that coworker you have gotten so close to—the one you catch yourself secretly texting and wishing your partner would not find out.
Once you start doing this, it means the friendship has veered off platonic territories into emotional cheating.
This should not be confused with having a reliable support system in a friend with whom you share some deeply personal stuff.
It becomes emotional cheating when you don’t want your partner to find out more than the fact that this person is your close friend.
Signs to look out for
Emotional cheating often feels a lot like friendship, in the beginning. It might start with the feeling that something is creating an unwanted space between you and your partner.
It could be their new hobby/job or a promotion at work which demands more of their time and attention. It could also be that your partner is not in the right headspace mentally making it difficult for them to connect with you.
Although they should not be blamed for these scenarios, they could push you to find emotional support and connection with someone else.
Asking yourself if you are being transparent with your partner about this other relationship may give you a clearer perspective.
You could also ask yourself if there’s any underlying physical attraction in your friendship. Physical attraction to other people besides one’s partner is natural but it might be a telltale sign if you develop that with a close friend.